She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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