? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
