You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
wow bdsm is so cute
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