I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
