i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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