I wanna passion pit in your ass
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
