I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
