Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
organizing the empties. That sober.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize