OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
