your thong is hanging out like whoa
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize