Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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