You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
