I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
