he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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