summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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