I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize