Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
