I feel great
I just peed on a car
I need to stop coming to work sober
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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