he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
