I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
