the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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