Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
