Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
please don't ironically join a cult
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