i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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