my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize