dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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