but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
