just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize