Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize