we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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