Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
