do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You can't special order awesome
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
