What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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