She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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