Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
