Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
