But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
