just tell him i said nine months
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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