Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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