3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
