You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
