It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
