he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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