Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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