Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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