I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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