NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
