i jhust puked up my retainher.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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