I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
