it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize