is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
