shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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