we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
