"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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