That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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