I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
