Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
