Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize