drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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