LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
