So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
