Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
