i don't like sucking hair
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
