I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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