i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
