i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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