would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
