you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My bed smells like the plague
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize