Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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