I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Randomize
