"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
